This is for Julia, an expert avocado lover.
I am the devil’s avocado
You bought me with a tomato
from the supermarket
at the end of the road
I had a sticker on me
It said that I was ripe
I am blackened and ready
I am just your type
You walked me home
A salad just for you
But I am the devil’s avocado
I have a little surprise… for you
Your pathetic attempts to peel me
Little flecks of skin
I get under your pretty nails
and under your delicate skin
I am hard
Harder than hell
I am not your average avocado
Haha! Can’t you tell?
I sabotage your salad
Now it tastes incomplete
Oh, I am sooo bad!
I am the avocado of deceit!
Well, I’ll eat you tomorrow
you whisper gently to me
as you shelf me in the fridge
by the houmous and the cheese
The next day you see me
a little battered and bruised
and half cut open
I look like the intimates of your muse
But I am still not ripe
Not ready to be eaten
Have an omelette instead, will you?
The eggs! They must be beaten!
I am the devil’s avocado
Lord of your smelly fridge
For weeks I reign supreme
More annoying than a midge
I am the devil’s avocado!
Your craziest sin
I love it when you…
Ah no! Not the bin!